Chuck the bucket, or, things I never want to do

As most of us have some sort of bucket list of what we wish to do or accomplish before death. I only have a few things on mine, which I’m sure I’ll babble on about in another post at some point. But today… today I write about what I hope to never, ever have to do.

* Skydiving

skydiving

Okay, I’ll admit it. This does look very cool and–dare I say it–amazingly beautiful. The rising sun, being alone in the natural world… but no ground beneath me, not knowing if my parachute could collapse and lead me in a downward spiral to my bloody, gory death? I mean, I get panicky just looking over the edge of the mall. If I jumped out of an aircraft God knows how many feet above ground, I’d be so terrified I’d forget to pull the cord to open my chute.

* Be behind bars

prison

I have no interest in going to jail. No explanation necessary.

* Live in Oymyakon, Russia

oymyakon

The coldest, permanent settlement on the planet, where temperatures regularly drop to -50 degrees Celsius, with the lowest once being 71.2 below. I’d freeze to death, I’m sure. How anyone lives here is beyond me.

* Be a carny

carny wilson

This could quite possibly be one of the worst jobs for me. I don’t like festivals for more than a few hours at a time. The crowds would get to me, the flamboyant display of over-eager employees… My skin crawls in horror at the idea of being forced to work in such an establishment.

* Reread Their Eyes Were Watching God

theireyes

I hated, hated, hated this book when forced to read it in high school. I have subconsciously done my best to block out all aspects of this novel. It was nothing short of torture, having to read this junior year. At the end of it, I told my English teacher exactly what I thought of it. I’ll never forget how shocked she was at my vehement disgust at this tome. If you’d like to torture yourself, you can read the plot summary of it here.

So yeah, those are not high on my list of priorities. I’m sure there are many more, and I’ll have to do a follow-up at some point, but I’d love to hear what’s very low on your to-do list!

 

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3 thoughts on “Chuck the bucket, or, things I never want to do

  1. Having just read a synopsis of Their Eyes Were Watching God, I kind of want to read the novel now, just so I can find out how Tea Cake got his name. I’m hoping it’s some sort of Cockney rhyming slang.

  2. I love your list! I agree, there is a certain air of insanity about jumping out of a perfectly good airplane! I also wouldn’t want to live in that place in Russia or be in jail, and I never was one to fall for the

    “OMIGAWD, this is so terrible!! Here, try it…”

    routine, so I will not be reading the synopsis of your book. Thanks for the warning. 😉 However, I think I might like to try “carny life”… I love the renfaires and they are the carnivals of the future. There was one every weekend in April and May in Texas, so I got a season pass and went every weekend, got to be friends with a bunch of the folks who worked there and they were super nice. If it had to be a regular carnival or circus, I don’t think I’d like that. Sorry for the wordy reply- this was supposed to be a short comment but apparently my “off” button is stuck.

  3. Would it be supportive or insulting to suggest that you would make a good carnie? If it’s supportive, then you would. If it’s insulting, then you couldn’t do it.

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